Lifting The Veil

Bambi Acts Rashly, Shows Untrustworthiness (+ BWF)

March 14, 2013
Leave a Comment

Threats and blackmail have been attempted with regards to this list. One person in particular guilty of this is Bambi Chapman. Bambi is known for being involved with almost every troll group named on this site. She also has an award named after her at Stillbirthday.

Harassing “Sammy” of The Skeptical Mother seemed the easy choice. They were convinced she was involved, and they knew she was vulnerable because she wanted to keep her personal life private. There’s only one problem with that:  The Skeptical Mother is not a participant in this project.

Bambi admits to outing her and her reasons why. (click images for best views)


We already knew Bambi was not good at keeping things secret. This happened on Banned From Birth Pages. The discussion is about Bambi telling everything going on in the secret group Unity & Healing while it was in session. (Search Unity & Healing on this site, for more info). In these following images, Banned implicates Bambi in breaching everyone’s trust.

secretgroup3 secretgroup secretgroup2

Even other trolls have decided to speak out against Bambi. See Tara’s comment.

Here Bambi (and Liz) participate on a troll forum (dated a couple years back). She takes about how much she hates people, and her love for snark.

bambiliz
You may notice a reference to her being suspected of playing other personas. While that evidence is beyond our current reach and dated and we have no concrete proof, we were able to compare IP’s and find that Bambi has been leaving anonymous hateful, irrational comments on blogs she dislikes.

This means we also have info on where Bambi lives.
———————————————————————–
Here is our personal plea to Bambi:  you are on this list because you have been your own worst enemy. We have observed this erratic behavior in you for years. You lash out at people who are innocent to you, often who have nothing to do with your life or your pain.

We also find it funny that you’ve publicized all this stuff about other people, such as your midwife. No one has any way to know if all the stuff you’ve said about her is true, yet you’ve made it your job to publicly defame her and no one has stood in your way.

Yet, when people have public comments about you and how you’ve hurt them, you get even.

What would happen if your midwife got even (you’d think that was unfair, right? even outrageous)? We also know of other false defamatory posts you’ve done, like the one about ISOTPB where you accuse her of killing a baby which she had nothing to do with. What would happen if everyone who ever talked negatively in public about anyone was harmed in retaliation? When do people have the right to speak out against people they feel have wronged others? Is it when it works for Bambi Chapman only?

Who can take you seriously, how can you be trusted, and how can anyone think you are ever acting out of anything but blinded vengeance and rage?

We are not as rash as you. We will not publish the private details of your life just on a whim, even though we know fully that you are 110% guilty of trolling and harming innocent people. We want to make sure that if we do it, it’s the right thing to do. Convince us that it is not. After all, we’re trying very hard to not be about vengeance and to only be about justice and doing the right thing. That’s something you should think about.

It’s too late for Sammy. You’ve already hurt her for no reason. Maybe the final decision of what we share should be hers? Maybe Sammy has a case against you for stalking and harassment. Because you have attempted to intimidate her and put her family at risk, maybe she would feel forced to pursue criminal justice. How far will this go? What will it take for your victims to protect themselves from you?

If you keep this behavior up, it was only a matter of time before someone called you out. You had several years going unchallenged, which is a pretty long run, but now it’s time to pay the piper. You are unhealthy and unstable and you are harming anyone that you can. Stop yourself first from inflicting more damage on others and targeting strangers online with your hate.  Then other people won’t feel the need to stop you and speak against you as a warning for others. Please, stop all your negative online activities and habits and get some serious and real help.

————————–

Addendum: How we know Birth Without Fear (January) was involved.

Obviously Bambi could not have figured it out on her own, as her claim brags. There was nothing on Sammy’s Pinterest that would tie her in any way to The Skeptical Mother. It’s possible that Bambi was the one who revealed Sammy’s name to all the trolls, but she would have had to have known the name or at least the initials beforehand for that to work (and Pinterest would only seem to confirm this for her, after the fact; a lame excuse and scapegoat). It only makes sense that that person doing the telling would be January (who knew TSM’s identity).

Since January had already told Ruthie (who was publicly saying the initials to harass and intimidate TSM), and January is also friends with trolls Liz and Bambi, it would be easy to see that January BWF is the origin point of all of this info. This was all probably discussed in private messaging at first, amongst themselves.

The way this was supposed to work benefited both January and Bambi. January gets to sit back and watch Bambi take all the credit for the dirty work, and not sully Birth Without Fear in the process. From Bambi’s perspective, in taking the credit she gets to prove she’s not the simpleton this list described her as. As you can see, that didn’t work out so well.

Lesson: January will do anything to further her own status, including releasing personal info that could be dangerous into the hands of people she knows are proven tormentors. She is not concerned for the safety of other families nor does she respect their well-reasoned anonymity.


“Jennifer Ralph”: Vengeance & More Heidi Aliases?

March 14, 2013
Leave a Comment

At Fed Up With Natural Childbirth, are they starting to catch on to the truth? Below is an interesting conversation between “Jennifer Ralph” and the Fed Uppers.

Click images for better views.


Now, remember how “Jennifer” referred to In Search of the Perfect Birth as “In Search of BS”? Heidi was the only other person we witnessed do that. The comments were later missing, and we think she deleted her own, but she did it multiple times. Look here–

This exchange was taken on a page where Monica Barnes was expressing disappointment that The Skeptical Mother doesn’t show photos of deceased babies to her 50,000 fans. Sammy (TSM) opened her Wall to allow fans to do it themselves. ISOTPB responded, and so did Stillbirthday’s Heidi Faith. Heidi insinuates that TSM is inauthentic.

Worth noting, “Jennifer Ralph” showed up with her post at Fed Up very shortly after ISOTPB got private messages from a “Candace Rice” offering the same level of threats and justifications. Some include:

“u can believe “we” started it first. as if “we” are the borg. but who is bothering who now hmms? that is what u all are doing”

[Note use of “the borg”, a common Banned From Birth Pages phrase repeated often.]

“i don’t hate u. i can’t speak for everyone because we aren’t all together like u think and don’t even know everyone like that april chick who said awful things.

sammoo has always said she wants to take down dr amy. she is not some innocence here

u capped, tagged, troll listed and psycho analyzed a lot of people publicly under their real names”

“the truth is we wouldn’t go as far as you. we didnt publish your names on the net. and we have caps and names, too, elizabeth and [censored], but never used them for these low things”

ISOTPB says they talked about psychoanalyzing and she used the word “laughable”. During that very exchange we received a comment on our blog, which said a bunch of hateful comments directed at Elizabeth, but included this:

“She attempts to use psychological terminology, laughably, to try to analyze those that she insults…”

The e-mail address left for that anonymous comment was akronevan2@yahoo.com, and their IP is 174.100.163.199, which brought us to a house in Barberton, Ohio.

I’ll leave you with some of Elizabeth’s words to Candace, because it’s really the main point:  “It’s real simple. Just stop bothering people. Stop harassing people. There wouldn’t be any need for a list if you could just leave people alone.”

PS:  thanks to these new happenings we have a new category, titled “Revenge”.


“Kallie Bloom”: Stillbirthday Advocate

March 11, 2013
Leave a Comment

A woman was banned from Birth Without Fear (+ support group) and shunned by Stillbirthday. She mentioned having a miscarriage with midwives under a Stillbirthday post on the BWF Facebook page. She was then reported as being a fake profile. She wrote to Stillbirthday at their site and she was locked out of her email. The email address she supplied looking for a response, she claims, was brand new and had never been used previously for anything else. To her this made it seem obvious that Stillbirthday and BWF both decided she was unworthy.

Admittedly she did seem a little sketchy… her profile appeared kind of fresh, and she hadn’t been fan of the page for long. Some of us had seen her around on our pages and she (no offense) seemed odd. Still, rather than answer her questions, she was dealt with harsh and swift. Apparently she found her way to The Skeptical Mother, and was complaining about it on some thread there when the topic came up.

That’s when Kallie Bloom came to the rescue.  She wrote to the woman to tell her about the feuds going on and assure her that Heidi and Stillbirthday were legitimate. The young woman was asked if she would like Kallie to contact Heidi for her, and she agreed. Within mere hours, Heidi responded positively to this young woman. All thanks to “Kallie”. Please do a search for “Kallie Bloom” here for more info on this confirmed alias.

She had already written to January, a few times, and was never answered. So, she gave up.

The woman says she ultimately backed away from all birth pages and said she never in the end opted to get help with Stillbirthday after all, but she wanted us to stress that Heidi was very, very nice to her.

Regardless of her opinion, this supports the hunch that Heidi has been Kallie all along. Look at this screen shot, taken from something she said in Fed Up With Natural Childbirth.

For more on Heidi and personas, see Stillbirthday’s Heidi: Alliances, Money, Personas.


Dear Veil: The First

March 7, 2013
Leave a Comment

Welcome to our First Edition of “Dear Veil”! This is where we answer your letters.

Ilise writes:

I did apologize to Michelle, ISOPB, and wrote about it and I feel bad that I, selfishly, took her loss and thoughts on VBAC personally.

What we were saying, Ilise, is that even though your initial offense had been insulting Michelle, what got you back in with BWF was apologizing TO BWF… for what, sullying her page? And anyway, it took a lot of nerve to add “Banned From BWF” at the end of your “Balanced Birth” page title when you knew WHY you were banned. Didn’t you deserve it? We know you were angry, but surely you understood why banning was warranted. This is just like all the people proud of frequenting “Banned From Birth Pages”. You do shitty things and then gloat about the fact that you are banned.

By the way, “Balanced Birth” is a curious title for someone who feels and reacts the way you do. You are only human and it’s understandable to take offense to people’s stories (I think?), but you don’t always have to act on that.

Are you saying you apologized to ISOPB, or are you trying to speak to her right now? Thank you for apologizing to Michelle and acknowledging the truth of your feelings. Please notice that Michelle is not the only one you and your people have affected in a truly negative way. Continue to do your part and disperse the mob. We’ll keep doing our part here by keeping women abreast of the way this whole operation works.

Florence writes:

Hi, Thanks for including me in your recap. Here are a few corrections for you!
“Florence Brun Tirakayos
Associated with Fed Up, Dr. Amy, and the Raptors. Florence’s first language is probably French (my first language IS French I also speak Spanish and FSL), and it shows in idiosyncrasies of her speech. Someone closely related to her experienced traumatic natural birth (My mom did not have a traumatic natural childbirth ,my mom lost her baby BECAUSE of Homebirth), which may fuel her hate for it( I do not hate NCB,I had one, I dislike the assumption that NCB is superior to other kind of births). She likes to play moral high-ground, often taking an I’m-disappointed-in-you stance to try to manipulate people emotionally. When that doesn’t work, she has no problem getting nastier herself . It’s all a game to her(it isn’t a game to me,I believe that women should make educated choices and not bully into thinking one way is better than the other), which is why she is suspected of fronting several personas/aliases.”
Cudoes to you for doing all of that work, it must have taken you forever!

Those are hardly corrections, Florence. Sounds like we had you pegged.

I’m very sorry about your sibling and your mother. So, the baby died because of homebirth, but you don’t have anything against homebirth, right? That’s why you joined Fed Up with Natural Childbirth and get downright nasty with women you don’t know? Makes sense.

So you dislike assumptions… a lot of assumptions are made daily by you and your group-mates about women and their births, and what kind of horrible people they are. Recognize that. And you don’t think people should bully people into thinking one way is better. Kind of like how you all go to pages you disagree with to bitch and moan, and then whine about how your harassment got you banned? How you stalk birthy people and try to interfere with their lives?

This was not as time consuming as you would think, though. It was certainly not as time consuming as crafting various personas to troll on pregnant women. Anytime something of interest hit our screens, we capped them. One person does most of the pic editing and then we post it to show the internet so they can know who to avoid. We do it because we hate bullies as much as you say you do.

Note to Readers:  You can do this, too! Have you seen a prime example of troll vindictiveness? Harassment? Cruelty?  Were you a victim of internet bullying by women who disagreed with your birth or parenting choice and relentlessly followed you around the internet? Take screen caps and send it our way. We want to hear your stories.


When Hero Worship Goes Wrong

March 7, 2013
1 Comment

You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make them drink.

You can tell a Dr. Amy fan that she’s prejudiced, but they’ll excuse her as still bringing the “facts”.

You can tell an Amy fan that she (and her fan base) go after innocent women they’ve never met who’ve just lost their babies, and they claim that it’s for the purpose of saving lives (not the enjoyment of crushing people).

You can tell an Amy fan that Amy isn’t even respected amongst other skeptics and peers, hasn’t practiced in decades, and that she may have simply been asked not to return to work. They will tell you that’s preposterous and that Amy is just as reliable for medical advice as any other qualified in-practice birth pro.

You can point out to an Amy fan all the good doctor’s errors and fallacies, which happen fairly often. They will usually not respond and continue to repeat later how she provides the real science. Not only does she, but as if she were the only one (even forsaking other doctors).

And yet, what do they really know about Amy?  (click image for better view)

This happened on Fed Up. A fan brought this up and they didn’t even know their beloved Amy when they saw her. Yet, the rest of us already knew this… Why is that?

Have they researched her? Have they tried to determine her credibility? Are they so in love with her snarky tone and exclusive message that they will ignore every piece of info that comes their way and makes Amy questionable?

Just like researching the birth and parenting methods they mock, it’s too inconvenient to even ponder. Better to just be lazy, bitchy, and static.

If we know your idol better than you, maybe it’s time you actually reconsidered how you feel about her and her info.


Stillbirthday’s Heidi: Alliances, Money, Personas

March 6, 2013
1 Comment

When founder Heidi began Stillbirthday, it was to be her “dead son’s legacy”.

If you ask Heidi how she came to be involved with the trolls, she will tell you this:  she was a natural-birth-minded doula who came to engage people with very opposing views over at Fed Up With Natural Childbirth (page). Many of them were not very receptive and in fact she did get quite the verbal lashing during that introductory period. Rather than leave, she would pick herself up and dust herself off and not quit trying.

Since a lot of the trolls were formerly the uncool kids who knew what it was like to be bullied, they now seem to relish their newfound clique, playing the Mean Girls virtually over the internet (or continuing a lifelong role, for some). It is easy to see how psychologically a lot of them crave belonging. They are angry that Natural Childbirth sites did not embrace them when they adopted differing methods. But specifically with things like Fed Up, it is more of a challenge to belong to such a vitriolic, elite group. Succeeding in that challenge could make one feel they had accomplished something. If you talk to them they will tell you they are not at all elite, and that all are welcome. Any newcomer, however, can see upon entering any one of their domains that all are most certainly not “welcome”, as dissenting thought and opinion is quickly ridiculed and shot down with ferocity.

But to come full circle to the point as pertains to Heidi, some people react very differently to abuse. Instead of taking a stand for oneself and knowing they deserve better, some react opposite; trying extra hard to earn their respect and love, bullies are looked up to as strong. As authority figures. Heidi may have had a reaction where she was willing to be “beat up” over and over again, but stayed because she wanted to earn a place with the aggressors.

There are other reasons she may have stayed when many people would have felt put out, but that involves believing that she has been a scheming mastermind from Day One, knowing exactly who to play and how to elevate herself and her business prospects to the right heights for prestige and money… And while that could sound far-fetched, there are a lot of supporting pieces of info that would seem to point at Greed as a motivator. She did not have an easy life, so it would be understandable if Heidi learned to manipulate and learned to manipulate young to get what she wanted.  I’ve noticed in Heidi that she is able to quickly assess the goals of the person she is speaking with and then knows what mask to wear to elicit the response she seeks. She spots your weakness and with very soft gloves, goes after it. What if Heidi could win everyone over at the right place and the right time, whether they were vicious Amy fans or the most natural of birth pages? What if everyone could endorse her? And what lengths would she go to to achieve this? The sky would be the limit; all successes would be hers.

So, Heidi and the trolls had a rocky start (as would be predictable). Through her sweet demeanor which she normally assumes and the onset of tragedy (Heidi suffered a miscarriage), she won them over. She came to them for comfort informing of her loss and they wrapped their arms around her. Finally, she was one of them.

*CLICK ALL IMAGES FOR BETTER VIEWS*

Heidi & Dr. Amy & the Raptors/Fed Up Trolls

Not everyone is into placenta eating, that’s true. Here this birth pro (Heidi) shows she has no tolerance or respect for the practice.

Heidi (Stillbirthday), religious warrior for Dr. Amy.

 

Heidi (Stillbirthday) seems to love Dr. Amy, she is so helpful towards her.

 

The “Stillbirthday Doula” is a self-made credential and designation, but would-be doulas have alarming “homework” to do to complete the process (along with hefty fees). For people who are so tight with Dr. Amy and the Raptors (anti homebirth/natural birth crusaders), to say this is not a conflict of interest would be scarily delusional.

Heidi & Money-Making Opportunities

First see Everyone Else is Doing it So Why Can’t We.

Now there are even more money makers.

A book. $13

heidi bookheidibook2
Preparing for Maidenhood. $80.

maidenhoodNumerous chances for donation & sponsorship. Varied $.

donationsSpeaking Engagements. $ Unknown.

speaking
Workshops.  $50.
(Compared against: Dr. Amy’s “Quacktivist” Post)
workshops
Special Grief Challenges with Prizes. $ Unknown.

dare
A Cafepress Shop. $15 per item, on average.
Has Stillbirthday apparel and other items.
shop
Plans to Construct a Birth Center, various $$$ amounts/donations wanted.
Obviously this would be a big time and long term profit earner for Heidi, if it were to come to fruition.

birth center1birth center

Heidi & Personas

Since In Search of the Perfect Birth did several Stillbirthday exposés on her blog (we have republished them here with permission; use the search function), Heidi had been trying to distance herself further and further from her Dr. Amy and Fed Up friends. She is no longer a member of the group Fed Up With Natural Childbirth, and she instructed her mentors to recreate themselves to appear more trustworthy. Normally quite stubborn, they shockingly obeyed. Watch the numerous efforts taken on the internet to paint Stillbirthday as a place for everyone, regardless of birth choice, directly in response to critics. Watch the mentors admit their reasons for changing.

Bambi (Stillbirthday, Dr. Amy, Raptors, Fed Up, banned from the birth pages, etc.) comes to defend BWF. Calls ISOTPB “Evil E” (the troll nickname for her), and mentions that she would have a go at her if she were still allowed. Unfortunately Heidi (boss at Stillbirthday) told her being publicly vindictive was no longer allowed. Suppressing true colors has been the new order of the day in light of ISOTPB’s exposé’s of the Stillbirthday organization. Naturally, January (BWF) liked it.

Stillbirthday Mentor Lisa admits why she really quit Mama Tao. (Stillbirthday was getting bad publicity over it.)

“Kallie Bloom”
You will see that everything she says is entirely serving of Heidi, even if the Fed Uppers can’t see it.

kallie 1kallie 2

“Support the Feminist Breeder Against Dr. SOB Raptors”

aka “The Raptors Are Only Pro-Choice When it Comes to Abortion, Not Birth!” (or something along those lines)

This page lasted somewhere in the neighborhood of a day. It never had more than 8 fans. It lured people in (like ISOTPB, and Blinded by the Light) by “liking” all their pages and sharing links from them. It seemed like a tactic to draw them in. Once there, they would see that mostly Raptors were there commenting. Even the Raptors were confused, however. At first they thought it was one of their pages, as did the Natural Birth people. Then it became clear that something sneaky was afoot.

I’d have more screenshots, but unfortunately the page didn’t last long enough for me to secure them. All I have is this sample.

support

There are a number of suspicious traits of this page, and even things that point strongly to it being Heidi.

  1. The first name of the page references abortion. Even though it had a point (how can you be pro-choice for a termination but not support a woman’s right to choose her birth– even if you think it’s dangerous for the baby?), there was something contained in it that seemed like a pro-life slant. Almost accusatory, as if to say “how come you’re allowed to KILL your baby, but can’t birth your own way?” The page did claim to be pro-choice, however, and then went on to change its name because it raised too many eyebrows. Heidi is a Christian who is pro-life.
  2. The cartoonish icon and the sensational title. It seemed clear it was meant to draw attention and rile people up, which is why most of us thought from the get-go that it was a Troll page. The clue here is seeming lack of appropriateness.
  3. The support for Gina to take down Dr. Amy. Watch as Heidi has distanced herself more and more from the Trolls and Fed Uppers. If Heidi (as other characters) stands with whomever is taking down Amy, she gets to purify Stillbirthday’s image without sullying her own reputation in the process (see some of Kallie’s quotes about Heidi’s nature, above).
  4. All the likes. She went and liked all the natural birthy things, specifically things which are targets of the trolls. May seem like an obvious choice for someone against Dr. Amy, but the way she obviously tried to “tag” everyone by commenting on their pages and sharing their links was an attention plea, and also–
  5. Incognito identity. She would not give her name so that we could believe her intentions or understand her alignments. She said it was for her own protection, which would be understandable, if only everything else didn’t look fishy. Naturally if this were Heidi, she would not be lying. The page said the Raptors were all vicious and even hated each other, so she is scared of what they would do if they came after her, and I believe that. Oddly she said her name was Joanna Mary. Joanna/Joni Towers has long been suspected of being a false identity (troll) on a number of natural birth pages and has even been blocked by The Skeptical Mother. It was previously believed that she was Florence.
  6. Fluctuating knowledge claims. Some moments she would claim she had a list of Raptors and knew all about them, other times she would act like she had no clue who was who and said things like “You tell me?” The trolls there were irritated with her and insisted that SOB followers and Raptors were indeed different things, and felt Support had no idea what they were talking about.
  7. Inconsistent alignment. She was able to blanket generalize all the trolls regardless of their claimed affiliation with any group, and she seemed to dislike them all equally. Yet, when it came to Bambi Chapman, she was nothing but sympathetic. She said she had never seen evidence of Bambi being one of the mean ones, despite ISOTPB claiming that Bambi had committed a serious libel against her that still stood today. Anyone who knows anything about the Raptors or trolls has seen Bambi’s true colors and would not be so in the dark over her cruelty. This didn’t ring true and coincided with Heidi’s announcement of the Bambi Award, for Role Model of the Year, at Stillbirthday. Likewise, she called Birth Without Fear a “sweet woman” which is precisely how Heidi feels and would describe her, and had no problem endorsing Stillbirthday (which features many Fed Up/Raptor members). This seems to make no sense considering it was The Feminist Breeder’s lack of endorsement that sparked the current feud between she and Amy which turned legal, and the page supposedly routing for TFB… Heidi would benefit from Heidi and Stillbirthday and BWF having a pristine image, and TFB would have helped Heidi by taking out the trash, if Amy were to lose. If you were going to generalize them all to the point of blurring the lines, would you also be so forgiving of Raptors in “Stillbirthday”? “People can change,” the page alleged. Another Heidism. Yes they can, but you just said all the Raptors are cruel even to each other and were not to be trusted. You wouldn’t even give your name, remember?
  8. The use of “y’all”. Kallie Bloom says y’all, and so does Heidi. It’s just a small idiosyncrasy which alone proves nothing, but I noticed it. Not every troll says “y’all”. Please also see the screen shot above where she describes her birth as “blessed”, which is another very-Heidi choice of words.
  9.  Even BFBP hypothesized that this was Kallie, due to tone, and as you’ve already noticed… we have reasons (above) to believe she was Heidi.There were more but I let this sit too long and I forgot. :/ Will come back to edit and add if I remember.

Update 3/7/12– Elizabeth provided a screen shot from the short-lived “Support the Feminist Breeder…” page. The topic was Bambi, and the image shows you how the page was very anti SOB and Raptors, but quite curiously pro-Bambi. The only other person we can think of with similar feelings/agenda is Heidi.

huhAnyone who is “against” the Raptors has seen Bambi’s mean side.


Everyone Else is Doing it, So Why Can’t We? (Stillbirthday)

March 6, 2013
1 Comment

Republished with permission of Elizabeth from ISOTPB blog.

Even though members of the Raptors (anti natural birth group) and mentors and members of Stillbirthday (such as Lisa, Bambi, and Liz) are very angry that midwifery is supposedly lacking standardized education and licensure across the board, that isn’t stopping the new grief mentorship organization from doing something similar.

You know the old saying:  if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.

Recently someone who was considering being a Stillbirthday Doula contacted me for more info after some concerns and arguments were raised on The Birthing Site. When I informed her of the reasons why people were very
wary of the founding of this group, she thanked me and expressed relief that she hadn’t paid for the training yet.

Huh???

Apparently, Heidi has created and defined a doula credential, which she oversees the education for and approves, and charges $200 for it.

So, like the concern one may have over self-governing and self-regulating midwives, one has to wonder why this would be acceptable.

As far as I can tell, this is a completely made up credential built around Heidi’s brand (stillbirthday), that is designed by, taught by, regulated by Heidi herself.

Now it makes a lot of sense why she was so heavily promoting Stillbirthday, even in inappropriate moments…


… and why she took such great offense to my question-asking, calling it bashing her “dead son’s legacy”. I was threatening a form of livelihood.

I’m not trying to take food out of her mouth or do anything to intentionally hurt anyone, contrary to how I am being portrayed and will undoubtedly continue to be portrayed. However, it doesn’t take much to see that what Heidi is doing is and always was the makings of a business; a business which models its self-righteousness and self-professionalism off of the same (perceived) invented and unregulated credential/professionalism of the midwives Stillbirthday supporters so vehemently oppose.

Below are some examples of the kind of individuals that support, endorse, and are even actively involved within Stillbirthday. This happened on a blog.




Lots of anti-natural birth comments followed, which I found very telling considering that this was a blog intended to be about the virtues of Stillbirthday and Heidi. Her supporters were very single-minded, but let’s face it– it did suit the tone of that entire natural birth bashing blog post. Then this happened:


The $200 invented doula specialty credential is not all Heidi has for sale, though. She offers many things you can purchase through her site, one of which is a Stillbirthday cake.


For $15, Heidi will take a pound cake and put the signature stillbirthday zero candle on it, light it, and use frosting to write your baby’s name on it. She then takes a photo for you to download. Then, she takes the cake to a hospice, where they refrost it and use it.


This seems like Heidi’s version of names in the sand, a project run by a woman called Carly Marie. Carly Marie is also a loss mother, and this is her legacy– she writes your child’s name in the sand on a beautiful beach at sunset and takes a stunning photo of it, to memorialize your precious baby lost. Seen here, she did one for Vylette (of Justice for Vylette).

Carly Marie does charge $20 for this service, and there is a waiting list.
Other items for sale via Stillbirthday include:

  • 20 Stillbirthday business cards– $25
  • A Stillbirthday Loss Doula Handbook– $5
  • Sponsorships– ranging from $25 to $100.

Luckily, not “everyone” (as Dr. Amy has said) is on board with Stillbirthday. People who were not hip to the game are becoming hip, and with the help of posts like these, the word is getting out to innocent and unsuspecting people that something here is amiss.

There are those, however, who argue that Stillbirthday is a “very needed resource”. I disagree. One, it’s not needed. There are tons of amazing resources out there for grief and specifically infant grief and pregnancy loss. This program fills no void that was previously lacking. Two, the individuals involved in the program having such a scandalous past and present where birth and baby loss are concerned also makes the program very much not needed. Women have options, and there are lots of them, and many of which are very stable and healthy and unbiased.

They say birth is big business. Apparently, loss can be, too. Please keep that in mind, even when people you like or groups you have trusted become overly insistent on something seemingly fishy being anything but. Beware of not being allowed to speak, and questions being shot down or hush-hushed.

I think I’ve been clear that I am not trying to deprive Heidi or anyone for that matter of proper grieving or even the right to earn money. We all have things to cope with which pain us, and we all have families to support financially, which is completely understandable. I would never begrudge anyone that, even people whom I dislike or disagree with. Before, in prior posts, I was more concerned with questioning ethics and double standards, but at this point I really need to call into question mental stability. I’m sorry, but these are very disturbed, sick individuals we are dealing with.

And the first sign of this is, they don’t even recognize nor acknowledge the concerns we all have about them. They treat it as totally fantasy, and act as though it doesn’t exist. To this day, all my screen shots are called “creative”. The truth is swept under the rug, like so many “murderous midwives”. Heidi and others tell people that my goal is to inflict harm, or gain readership. Truthfully, I lose fans whenever I post these. I do it not because it helps me at all, but because it might help you.

So in the end, if you can’t defeat all of midwifery and natural birthing, just do like you think they do– be sweet to everyone, earn their trust (sometimes by lies, bribery, or flattery), create your own credentials, and make that money.

 


Birth Without Fear: Intimidation For Success

March 6, 2013
Leave a Comment

Birth Without Fear and The Skeptical Mother are two big pages with similar subject matter, and sometimes similar approaches. Depending on who you ask, this is no accident. But, how far will one be willing to go in the name of success?

Sammy (founder of TSM) has many reasons to protect her identity: as a survivor of sexual attack; as someone despised by meddling, malicious Dr. Amy trolls for her birth beliefs; and, for other valid personal reasons. She was always upfront that “Sammy” was an alias for her protection. There is nothing sketchy about what she does, however. She was never trolling or faking with her persona. It’s completely an extension of who she is, just with a safety net.

She does not lie, does not scam, and is not the type to use trickery or manipulation. In fact, she is too loving, giving, and trusting, and has occasionally given the wrong people a chance (a window into her private life).  Even despite her best efforts, her personal info got into someone’s hands and was quite possibly “leaked” to many others who are now telling her in the middle of arguments that they “know who [she] is”.  This time that it is being used against her is not from who you would think. Not by Dr. Amy trolls… no. This time the perpetrator is someone she never expected:  Birth Without Fear and her friends and fellow page admins.

Watch how they trolled and derailed what should have been a positive (and unrelated) picture on TSM’s page.

sammybwf1 sammybwf2 sammybwf3sammybwf4For more on the secret group referenced which Sammy and January were a part of, search for the posts on “Unity & Healing”.

Please, be very careful who you trust on the internet. Even popular bloggers and page owners can prove that your sensitive information is not only unsafe with them, but can be used as a tool for intimidation. Think twice before trying to “friend” strangers online, or sharing things about your life and birth. Just because someone is popular does not mean they deserve your trust.


    Disclaimer

    Content not accompanied/supported by evidence is anecdotal and provided by participants and donor submission. Everything herein is factual to the best of our knowledge; however, individual discretion is urged and advised.

    The opinions expressed here through observation and experience are protected by free speech.